Sunday, 29 May 2011


These little embroidered and gocco printed linen brooches went to Australia. I meant to show them to you earlier, but the move got in the way.

Tomorrow I'm going back to Turku to drop off the keys to my old flat and say a little goodbye to the city. The move went well, considering that moving is hideous. The exam went well too. The kitchen is a mess and I doubt my work desk will be in functioning order any time this week, but I'm still very proud of having unpacked the majority of my belongings in just a little over a day. So here I am, sitting on my new living room floor, surrounded by only a small mountain range of fabrics and plants still waiting to be put somewhere, and it's good to be here.

(even though I can barely keep track of all my bruises and useless broken bones. try moving house with a broken tailbone...)

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

London pt. 3

Night and day. That's what London and Finland are to me. I don't know which is which. Maybe most people worry less at night since that's when we should be sleeping. London is my night, then. But it brings so much light into me, it's almost laughable.

One of the nice little things I often think is how I sat on museum gallery benches, resting my sore feet, waiting for V to finish his round of nearby rooms and pick me up before he went too far from me or I got bored of the paintings I was surrounded by. I can only take in a little at a time, so this was good for me. Sitting there, with the soles of my feet tingling from excessive walking, I was with V, sensing his presence, and alone with my body. It all made the museums feel even more sacred than before. People move slowly, shuffling their feet, everyone looking at the art in a different manner. There are those who look at the names of the artists and their artwork, then there are those who look at the art, then there are people like me who look at the museum. But I don't think anyone cocks their head just the same way as someone else.

Friday, 20 May 2011

V's pencil case

Earlier this spring I was in need of something quiet and slow. I made V a pencil case, by hand, sans sewing machine. And it wasn't slow like I thought it would be. I made another one for myself, a mustard yellow one, by machine, and it was much trickier for some reason, and it's not nearly as nice as V's. I wish I had thought of the pattern before cutting the fabric; it would've been nice to have a full circles form around the zipper.

Apparently Blogger isn't giving me back my post re: books of good things, but just so you know, there's a new version in the shop, in two colours and extra goodies will come with all orders from now until further notice. 

I will be moving next week, as well as taking a very important exam, so things are a bit crazy here at the moment. If I've managed to not reply to your messages, rest assured that I've spent many hours replying them inside my head whilst waiting to fall asleep. Many grateful thoughts were sent your way even if no words.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Not sorry, not sleeping.

I don't sleep until the birds have awoken and the sun is up. I tie a scarf over my eyes to remind myself what it's like to have darkness, to remind myself that I ought to keep my eyes closed if I wish to sleep. It never gets dark in this home, not even in the winter when the city lights seep through the blinds and the curtains and the roller blinds. Now I just try to imagine what it's like, the darkness that is lack of light. 
London was heaven to me. A whole week without a single anxiety attack, a whole week of a world that was V and I and no one we knew. It was also a week of sleeping at night. It was me looking after V instead of the other way round, most of the time, anyway. It was me seeing V see the things I once saw for the first time.

I'm sorry it upsets some of my friends the people I know that I am with someone who makes me happy. I'm not sorry that he makes me happy.

Friday, 6 May 2011

Long distance

I've been sleeping sideways in my bed so I wouldn't feel how empty his side of the bed is.

Thursday, 5 May 2011

London pt.2

If you have a moment, please watch this video about Ai Weiwei's Sunflower seeds.

Monday, 2 May 2011